gender outlaws

wat sok pa luang is a forest monastary on the edge of vientiane. our tuktuk driver turned down a shaded, tree lined dirt road, and then pulled over. he led us down a small path, through the trees, past some simple wood, bamboo and thatch buildings on stilts. there were some dogs running around. you could smell a wood fire. then we rounded one shack and came up at the rear of another, a large fire burned under a metal barrel with a pipe that enters the back of the building.
this is a fairly rudimentary lao style spa. the lao appreciate a good steam. and you can usually get a massage at these places. here, in a small open forest, with monks walking past in their burnt siena robes, dogs roaming and fighting, on a raised hardwood floor, under a wooden cieling, without walls, you could watch the sky turn pink, drinking tea, waiting for your massage.
at which point noi, the loud and curvacious woman who appeared to be running the joint, would chat you up. as i emerged from the steam room, soaked, wet sheet around my waist, she asked ben and i where we were from. as ben said that he was from the uk she asked why we were travelling together. i looked over at ben, similarly wet and glistenning and responded that he was irrisistably handsome. she seemed concerned and pointed out that he had come with a girlfirend. we responded that she was, in fact, his wife. her concern grew. she said it would be bad for me to interere in their marriage. i laughed. i added that i had been lonely and needed some company. she asked if i wanted a boy friend or a friend boy. i thought about the question and decided it was best not to answer. i said i thought she was putting me in an uncomfortable position. she then asked if i wanted a girlfriend. i thought i better avoid this one too. but then i thought i better turn the tables on this woman before things got even worse and i asked her when she got off work. she laughed and said she could be my friend girl but not my girlfriend because she liked ladies. she laughed mischieviously. i suggested that she was trouble. she looked at me and said when trouble gets together with trouble it breeds like a virus. it was surprisingly eloquent. i made a quick escape back into the steam room.
the steam room was maybe six feet square, with three benches. the wood was sweaty. it was dark and hot. i burned my foot on the steam coming in from a hole in the floor. a crowd of lao entered in behind me. there were maybe six of them. i was not entirely clear on anyone's gender. this was a co-ed sauna, rare in lao. they gathered around me and spoke in lao and laughed and joked. they sat very close, scrubing their sweated bodies. they were clearly talking about me for much of it. i heard the word for foriegner, farang, in most of the sentences, and there were many fleeting glances, and some not so fleeting. lots of hands and elbows and knees seemed to be brushing me. some of the voices were deep, some high, and some in between.
when it got too hot i left the sauna. as this group emerged minutes later noi began speaking rapidly and joking and laughing with them. it was clear she was trying to set everyone up. she herself tried to pick up one woman, who was deaf. noi made a series of impromptu hand gestures suggesting that they lay together. the other woman (who was rather lovely) eased her head from side to side with an uncomfortable frown. noi attempted several times, with different gestures, and the woman's response was always the same. she then gestured that she preferred men, pointing in my direction. noi exploded in unrestrained laughter, telling everyone she like farang. she held her hand up to her nose and outlined a large one. farang means big nose. the def woman nodded. noi then moved on and tried to set up one of the ladyboys with a young skinny french man.
it was all an entirely unexpected, strange, sweaty, hyper-gendered encounter.
the mosquiotos arrived as the sun fell.
the dogs started fighting.
the monks chased them away.